Biker Rules

Live to ride. Ride to Live.
Loud pipes save lives.
Only bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave.
Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover.
A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.
Never do less then forty miles before breakfast.
If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.
Young riders pick a destination and go. Old riders pick a direction and go.
Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of wrenches, and a roll of toilet paper.
Work to ride-Ride to work.
People are like motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
Never be afraid to slow down.
Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived.
A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.
When you look down the road, it seems to never end - but you better believe it does.
Winter is Nature's way of telling you to Modify.
A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.
Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.
When you're riding lead -- don't spit.
If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
Sleep with one arm through the spokes and keep your pants on.
Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
Beware the rider who says the bike never breaks down.
Maintenance is as much art as it is science.
If you ride like there's no tomorrow - there won't be.
Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.
There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders.
Thin leather looks good standing around, but it won't save your butt from "road rash" if you go down.
The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
Always replace the cheapest parts first.
You are a real biker if your doctor finds no traces of blood in your alcohol stream.